tell your sister to shave her snatch
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
