They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
