They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
