stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
