and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
