hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
