They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
