I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
What drink are we having for lunch?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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