So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
