K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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