question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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