fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Drake has all the answers
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
