his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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