Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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