I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
There are leaves in my underwear?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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