I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Well I just put wine in my tea
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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