Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
