We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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