checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
