Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
