I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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