she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
