They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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