maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
