I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
