my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
