dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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