And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
