According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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