The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
