Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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