Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
