I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
This baby is an asshole
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
