I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize