I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
