i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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