So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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