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• (714): View more from California

  so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.

  (1-714): View more from California

  yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.

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• (607): View more from New York

  just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?

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• (727): View more from Florida

  Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.

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