who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
