I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
