im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
