you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
