i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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