I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize