He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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