Are we in a gay sports bar?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
