Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Terrible idea I love it
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
