what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize