guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
