Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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