So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
