This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
