I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
