So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
