I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
