I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
