come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Every concussion has its silver lining
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
