just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
