i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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