how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
