you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize