So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
