I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize