Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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