Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
