i jhust puked up my retainher.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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